There are many moments in my life where I can recall having to start over. For example, when I had to move back into my parents house because I was broke or the moment when I had to start dating again because my last relationship didn’t work out. The frame that we see these moments through is important. A common phrase that we use is “starting over”, but are we really ever starting over? As time passes, we gain experience, we learn lessons, we gain wisdom and change as a person. We are not really the same as we were 1, 5 or 10 years ago. We don’t necessarily have to go back to the starting line, but we do have to start from a new position. This is what I call “Beginning Again”.
In my work as a facilitator and coach, I am consistently hearing excuses about people getting started on things they want to get done. The reasons are easily recognizable because they are also within myself. I made the same excuses about why I couldn’t quit my job and start doing work that was meaningful to me. I procrastinated in the same ways that my clients do on major aspects of their life. It is so easy to move through life with a passivity. We can spend years of our lives staring at the television, hoping to win the lottery and for someone to wave a magic wand that will change our lives forever. Whenever we think about pushing ourselves, we immediately think about the work required and challenges associated in making the change that we want. It keeps us stuck in place like a bowling ball in the gutter rolling to its final destination. Our current momentum has us moving in a particular direction and it can be difficult to see how things could be any different.
You are not a bowling ball.
You might feel like you are in the gutter, but you have the power to change your circumstances. Think about all of the decisions you have made over the last year that have put you where you are today. This is what we call momentum or lack there of. Sometimes we make life decisions, pick up habits or choose behaviours that don’t support the best imaginable version of our life. It can leave us feeling lost, frustrated, burnt out and hopeless. If your current life position is not desirable, what could you do over the next year that would push you further to where you want to be? What is something that you could do TODAY that would improve your circumstances by a small margin? Get creative, be resourceful, ask for support.
Give this some thought:
You are lying on your death bed and you are filled with regret about how you spent your time on this planet. You wish you had opened your heart to love. You wish that you hadn’t used your broken heart and disappointment as a reason to guard yourself against letting people into your life. You wish you had been more disciplined with your time and learned more about your craft. You wish you had saved money to take that trip abroad, learn a new language and explore a new culture. You wish that you hadn’t spent so much time watching internet pornography and had exciting sex with partners that were your ideal type. You wish you hadn’t waited so long to start doing the things that deeply called to you.
If you are reading this, it means you are still alive and have access to the internet. Congratulations. There is time left for you to create the life that you really, really want.
You can begin, again. You can pick yourself up from the ashes of whatever metaphorical burning car crash you survived and rise to become the person that you want to be.
Whatever resistance you have to that last sentence is exactly why you are where you are right now. All of the circumstances of your life are reflective of your self-image and resistance to doing the work required. Somewhere along the way, someone told you that you couldn’t, you shouldn’t or that you weren’t not allowed. You started to believe that it wasn’t meant to be and that you should do something else with your life. That my friends, is total bullshit.
Humans have many things in common, but the one thing that we all want is for our lives to work. We want to be satisfied and enjoy our experience here. Ultimately, most of us are seeking peace, harmony and joy. We have it in our mind that once we lose the weight, get the partner, make a million a year that we will be happy. The reality is that there will always be new problems at every level we get to. New challenges waiting for us around the corner.
Do whatever you have to do to pay the bills legally. Take the work that you need to provide for yourself and your family. Make a plan to change your circumstances. Start the website. Call that person. Read that book. Get yourself to the gym. Find a mentor.
Do not let your inner critic get the best of you.
It is never too late to begin again. You can start right now.